Trials

It's been a long time since I've posted on here! 

If you're in my ward, sorry that you just heard me say most of this in a talk a couple of weeks ago. But, as I was getting ready to speak, I learned a lot from my studying and thought I should share it. Here are some of the things I learned about trials: 

Some trials come from our poor choices, but others come for other reasons that may only be fully understood--at least at the time--by our Heavenly Father. Life isn't easy, and I don’t think it was ever supposed to be. But as we pass through trials we have the opportunity to become better and learn important lessons that will help us later.

Everyone has unique circumstances, abilities, and weaknesses. People reading this, including myself, are worrying about school, work, money, family members, friends, dating, marriage, weaknesses, wrong things others have done to them, and lots of other things. I don't know who reads this blog, but if you're reading this and you're going through a hard time right now, please don't give up. Seek God and ask Him for His help. He will help you like He's helped me so many times!

Life’s hard, but we don’t have to--nor should we--face it alone. We need divine help. In my life I've learned that through God’s grace we can overcome or at least learn how to cope with our challenges and trials. However, this requires work and faith and dedication on our part. There are things we need to do in order to faithfully face and overcome our trials.

One that I'm working on it prayer. Prayer is not a passive principle. It takes time and consistent effort to develop a relationship with God through prayer.

One of the leaders of my Church, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, “God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can’t if you don’t pray, and He can’t if you don’t dream. In short, He can’t if you don’t believe.”

So, sometimes God is just waiting for us to ask for what we need. 

Earlier in the year, I was feeling a lot of pressure in my life. I was in an interesting situation that I didn't really understand or know how to feel comfort. I remember praying harder than I had in a long time, and over time, I felt God answer my prayer and help me with the things I needed. I didn't feel an immediate answer to the prayers I had offered, but eventually they came and I was given the help I was looking for.

From that experience, I learned a few things about trials. First, we can’t always expect answers to prayers or solutions to trials to come instantly. God doesn't want us to curl up in a ball and stay in our rooms and wait for our trials to pass us by, although some days that might be tempting. We aren't beings that were created with that intent. He expects us to get up, work hard, pray hard, serve others, and have faith. We all have hope--which is found through the Savior Jesus Christ. We need to keep our focus solely on Him and His Atonement. As we do this, we will be supported through our trials.

Another Church leader, David A. Bednar said, “You and I in a moment of weakness may cry out, ‘No one understands. No one knows.’ No human being, perhaps, knows. But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He felt and bore our burdens before we ever did. And because He paid the ultimate price and bore that burden, He has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm of mercy in so many phases of our life. He can reach out, touch, succor—literally run to us—and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do through relying upon only our own power.”

Jesus Christ understands and can empathize with our trials and weaknesses. If you feel like you’re the only one who is going through a hard time, please know that everyone, no matter how perfect their life may seem, and how many advantages they may seem to have, is on the same journey as you and I, and they face many of the same difficulties that you and I face. I know that the Savior lives and that He will reach out, succor, and heal us as we will let Him into our lives.

Here are where the quotes come from:

Elder Holland: https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/jeffrey-r-holland_terror-triumph-wedding-feast/

Elder Bednar: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/bear-up-their-burdens-with-ease?lang=eng

Learning Experiences

One of the things I've thought about over the last few months is the concept of going through "learning experiences." In my life I've hated that phrase because usually I've looked at it in a negative light. I've hated "learning experiences" because they've usually meant that I've been going through a hard time or making a lot of mistakes...but at least learning from them. Just like no great coach is happy when his team just has a moral victory (but still loses), none of us are usually initially happy when we fail or struggle. However, I have learned that these learning experiences can be a positive thing for us in our lives and they end up helping us in the long run. Just like a coach can look at the positives from his team's loss and use them to help his team improve, we can find positives in our lives, even when we make mistakes. 
I've found that the times when I've struggled the most has taught me the most about life and helped me to thrive in the future. Sometimes our mistakes help us learn what will really make us happy and successful in the future.
I appreciated a speech given by our new President at BYU about a month ago. He said, "...all failures are changeable and temporary- except for the one that occurs when we give up." When we mess up, we can ALWAYS make it right and get a fresh start.
Some of the most influential people to ever live have, at one point in their lives, been "failures." (If you need more proof of that - look at this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLYECIjmnQs)
We can't always control what happens to us in life, and we can't control what others think about us. But we can try to always be found doing what's right and always trying to improve.
Near the end of his talk, President Worthen said, "Too often we ask the wrong question when we fail. We ask, “Am I good enough?” But the real question is, “Is God good enough?” Is He as good as He says He is? Can He really deliver on His promise...if we will trust Him and strive to do the best we can and keep going whenever we fall short?"
I know that God IS good enough. He can make up for our failures and help us see how we can improve and be truly happy. He can help us be forgiven from our mistakes and become better people. He's definitely done that for me, and He can do that for everyone. I'm trying to be grateful for my learning experiences and to improve from them.

President Worthen's full talk: http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=2218

HOPE

I've been really intrigued lately with the word HOPE.

I'm not talking about "I hope it's sunny outside today," or "I hope I get an A on my test," although I do hope for both of those things (but the longer this semester goes, the more I'm realizing both of those are probably unrealistic...)

The kind of HOPE I've been reading about lately has a deeper meaning. It's not a temporary or fleeting emotion. It's not just a thought or something that comes into a person's mind once or twice. It's a word that forms a mindset in someone and becomes part of who they are.

When someone has HOPE they are optimistic about the future.

When someone has HOPE they realize they try to find the silver lining in their circumstances.

When someone has HOPE they are resilient and refuse to give up.

When someone has HOPE they recognize that future success will be even sweeter because of all the struggles that have been endured along the way.

I'm not trying to say I have perfect hope or anything like that. I originally started studying this topic so that I could learn how to increase the hope in my own life. Sometimes it's hard to just "be positive" about what's going to happen tomorrow or next month or next year. Obviously, much easier said than done. It's definitely a work-in-progress in my own life.

I know there are lots of good people out there who feel like they have lost all hope. I've felt like that before. I hope that some of what you read here will help. Yesterday I was at a meeting where one of my Church leaders spoke. He was talking about overcoming trials and looking forward to the future. I don't remember word for word what he said, but essentially he said, "I'm speaking you as a Church leader, but also think of me as your grandfather." And then, as he started to choke up he said, "Hang in there." People that have a hope-filled mindset in their lives strive to "hang in there" and stay strong through trials.

To illustrate this point, I have two examples of people with firm hope:

The first example is of my mother. My mom, although you would never know from just talking to her, has had various health problems throughout her life. She has had to endure various surgical procedures and has been bedridden multiple times. Throughout her life, however, she has emulated a person who is full of hope and especially optimism. Her personality simply will not let her be negative or focus on unfortunate trials. I've never heard her complain about what she's going through. She's one of the most energetic and fun people I know. Every time she has gone in for a procedure, she has said, "I'll be OK. It will work out." While our immediate family is usually saying, "Mom, are you sure you're going to be OK? Don't you think you should just rest today and take the day off?" she always responds with a "Don't worry about me, I'm fine!" She wouldn't know how to "take a day off" if she tried. She's an example and a light to everyone she comes in contact with.

Another great example I could share about hope is my cousin, Tenille. She's truly an amazing person. She's married, 37 years old, has 4 little boys, and is pregnant with her 5th child, a girl, due next January. In August of this year, she was diagnosed with stage 2 Hodgkins Lymphoma. She started a blog to describe her feelings and how her trials have strengthened her faith in Jesus Christ and His plan for us and our lives. I caught myself becoming emotional as I read her blog today. Even though she has just been diagnosed with cancer, she used the words/phrases "blessed," "renewed faith," and "hope" to describe some of the events surrounding her life as she faces this huge trial in her life. She truly knows and comprehends what it's like to have HOPE for a better tomorrow. Check out her blog at:  thistale2tell.blogspot.com

I'm grateful for the people who read this and hope it helps someone out there.

21 September 2014

I guess my post today is going to be pretty simple. The last few months haven't been the easiest for me, but throughout the last few days I have had an overwhelming sense of gratitude for everything in my life. 

Gratitude is interesting to me. Immediately when I hear someone talk about gratitude, I almost always tune out. "Oh, they're just going to tell me to be more grateful" is what I always think. And, usually, I'm right. But recently I've learned a lot about gratitude and the positive influence it can have in our lives. 

I was introduced to the idea of being "grateful in any circumstances." It means that no matter what's going on, I can be grateful. It's easy to think, "one day I'll be happy (when I get a job, get married, or retire...etc), one day I'll be grateful for everything I have, but for now I'm just angry and stressed out." But I've learned that as I try to find the "silver-lining" in everything and look for the good, I have SO much to be grateful for. And it's made me so much happier. 

I'm so grateful for my good family. My parents and extended family have season tickets to the BYU football games, so I get to see them almost every weekend which is great. I'm grateful for the chance I have to talk to my family on the phone and to see them in person on a regular basis. When you can't directly communicate with your family for two years, you realize that in your life you have taken them for granted. I appreciate and love my family so much and am grateful that I can talk to them whenever I want now. 

I'm grateful to be here in school. School's hard, and it's not always fun. In fact most of the time it isn't super fun. But I'm grateful for the opportunity to be studying at a great university and for the chance to learn the valuable skills that will hopefully make me useful in the workforce some day. 

I'm grateful for my people in SoCal. You guys mean the world to me and have deeply impacted my life. I think about you on a daily basis and am grateful for things like Facebook that let us communicate and keep up with each other. 

Hope everyone has a great week!

**For more on where I got the idea of "grateful in any circumstances," you can check out:

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/grateful-in-any-circumstances?lang=eng

7 September 2014

I apologize in advance for how scattered my thoughts are today. As I started school this week and at BYU, I've thought a lot about life and the various approaches we sometimes take to overcome challenges. Also, anyone who knows me knows that yesterday was a great sports day...so I'll talk about that near the end.

All my life I've been very hard on my self. To say I'm a perfectionist would be an understatement. I'm not perfect (obviously), but my mentality is always that of improvement and hardly ever settles for my current ability to do something. This, in my opinion, can be both a strength and a weakness. It can motivate a person to be better and improve, or it can crush them and make them feel helpless. In my life I've experienced both sides of this, but I have tried my best to focus on the positive and use it to propel me to be better and improve in different areas of my life.

I have thought about this for years, and I really appreciated something that was reiterated to me today by a friend: One mistake or even a series of mistakes does not define a person and the potential they have. In addition, one mistake or error does not negate or cancel out the good things that people do in their lives.

Yet, for whatever reason, it seems so much easier to focus on the negative things that we do personally or we see others do. Why? Sometimes throughout the course of a day, even though we do lots of good things, we allow one mistake or one erroneous comment or one bad/negative thought to dominate our thoughts and crush our self-confidence.

You may think I'm writing this because of what happened last week with former BYU and Arizona Cardinal quarterback Max Hall and his arrest due to shoplifting and possession of cocaine. While this blog post wasn't written specifically to address that issue, I believe the same principles apply. People make mistakes. People sometimes do things that jeopardize their future and their family. However, there's no reason to pass premature judgement or label someone based on one thing or event. We don't know the details of people's lives and the "why's" behind their actions.

The God I believe in is extremely merciful. He loves us and He wants us to do well. When we mess up, however big or small the "mess up" may be, He still loves us. Of course, He wants us to succeed and do our best. But when we don't, I imagine Him helping us up, dusting us off, and lovingly telling us to try again.

I think one of the leaders of my Church, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, says it best. "...God loves us. He is good. He is our father. And he expects us to pray and trust and be believing and not give up and not panic and not retreat and not jump ship when something doesn't seem to be going just right. We stay in, we keep working, we keep believing, keep trusting following that same path, and we will live to fall in his arms and feel his embrace and hear him say, "I told you it'd be okay, I told you it'd be alright."

My goal over the next few weeks is focus on the positive in life and more patient with myself and others.

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I couldn't write this without mentioning how excited I am about the BYU football season so far. I have watched the Cougars all my life and have watched us beat big teams, but the win yesterday was unlike any I have ever seen. I think the Cougars are poised to make a good run this year, and barring injuries, this could be a special season.

I really appreciate the great feedback I received after starting my blog a couple of weeks ago. Please continue to tell me what you think so I can improve the blog.

Life Lessons

Not really sure how this whole blog thing works...but I figured it was worth a shot. So that everyone knows, I'll be posting on here once every few weeks with random uplifting thoughts, and of course my sports views. Before you read any further, just know that what I'll say in these posts is just my opinion and I'm not saying anything officially for my school (BYU), my Church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints - the Mormons) or anything/anyone else. I'm just a guy with some thoughts and if you don't want to read my blog, no problem, you can click out right now!

Last December I returned home from serving a two year mission for my Church. I had been living in different parts of San Diego/Orange County California. After being gone for two years, getting back into the normal swing of life can be difficult, to say the least. Immediately being thrown back into school, the dating scene, and regular life is a daunting task because it's so different than what I was used to doing for the last two years. Since I've been home I feel like I've learned a lot about life.

In no particular order, I wanted to share some of the things I've learned:

#1: Things don't always work out exactly the way we envision them working out. This is probably the biggest lesson I've learned since returning home. I thought I had my life pretty well planned out, and to say the least, things have not happened exactly like I thought they would. I'm not saying I have a hard life or a bad life (because I don't...I love my life), I'm just simply saying that things have been different than I expected.
I believe in God, and I believe that He knows me perfectly. I believe that He has a plan for my life, and that He will direct me as He sees best. Sometimes that's hard to accept, at least it is for me. There are certain things that I want, personally, but recently I've had to learn that what happens in my life is ultimately up to God (and His timing) and realizing that has made me so much happier.

#2: Surrounding yourself with the right people is so important. I have had the chance to be around and get to know some great people recently! These people have changed my life, and I now realize how important it is to be around good, solid people who have the same standards as I do. Also, I'm so glad that I'm back and can spend time with the most important people in my life, my family members.

#3: Being busy makes you happy. As a missionary, our schedule was busy from 6:30 AM until 10:30 PM every day for two years. So I never had to worry about being bored. Since I've been home I've had to set my own schedule and make my own choices as to what I would do during the course of a day. I knew this before, but it's been reaffirmed to me that being busy doing good things makes a person happy. Being lazy does not. Maybe it does for some people, but it doesn't for me. Having said that, I'm still not REALLY looking forward to school starting next week, because I'm taking Econ 110 and an Accounting class, so I think that my life might be over soon...

I don't know anything about writing blogs and I don't know exactly who is going to read these posts (if anyone!). But I felt inspired to start writing this blog, so I'll try to keep it updated every couple of weeks. If anyone has any feedback and wants to let me know how to make this blog better, I'm definitely open to any advice. Hope everyone has a great week!